I read in the Globe and Mail yesterday that Britain’s National Trust has recently compiled a list of 50 Things to Do Before You’re 11 3/4, outdoor things like “climb a tree”, “throw some snow” or “camp out in the wild”.

One quote from the Globe article that struck me was, “The list is sure to bring back happy memories for this era’s overprotective parents, who had far more freedom than they will likely ever give to their children. According to a 2007 survey by the Children’s Society, some 43 percent of parents in Britain said kids shouldn’t go out alone with friends until they turn 14. In contrast, many of these parents roamed their neighbourhoods without an adult at the age of 10 or younger.”

When I was 4, I remember playing “running away” with my also-4-year-old best friend. We’d pack our knapsacks with stuffed animals and cookies, pile them in a red wagon tied behind a bike, and take off for a picnic at the park, a 5-minute walk away but out of earshot and mostly out of sight from our houses. “Have fun!” our parents would tell us, holding open the door as we ran outside. My 4-year-old, by contrast, has never been outside without adult supervision for more than about a couple of minutes (nor does she want to– she’s scared to be alone).

Everyone I know who has kids has similar memories of childhood freedom far beyond what our own children have experienced. While I hear much talk about childhood obesity and the need to be outside, I rarely hear discussion of what I think is one of the main obstacles to active outside play– parental fear. As I recall, even the well-known book Last Child in the Woods talks about the things families can do outside together these days, while the author tell of the solitary ravine adventures of his childhood.

For me, the point of the “running away” trips to the park was that we were running away– no parents allowed! We could giggle at our own jokes, roll down the hill until we felt sick, and scare ourselves with stories of the big bad wolf who lived in the hedge and was going to catch us. We did not play outside because it was healthy or enriching but because it was our space, where no one would tell us not to run or shout or make a mess. How sad it is that today adults must make a checklist of outdoor activities for kids, launched complete with a YouTube video and a website where you can earn virtual badges for each activity completed. The extensive list of parental safety tips on the 50 Things website includes, “Maintain constant contact and supervision of children whilst undertaking these activities” and “For the more challenging activities find an organised event to ensure the safest conditions for your child”. I guess this is better than nothing in an era when tree climbing and picking up snow, never mind throwing it, are banned from many school playgrounds on the grounds that they could be dangerous.

Wouldn’t it be great if all us parents could decide together to trust our kids with the freedom we had? If we could let them all outdoors and trust that there is safety in numbers? An interesting related resource is Free Range Kids: How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts with Worry).

In this video from Fairhaven School, a Sudbury-model school in Maryland, graduate Thor Jensen speaks about how his time at Fairhaven prepared him for the responsibilities of adult life.

I recently read a blog post called “Kids don’t go bad — they get lost”. Its argument is that kids who misbehave are doing so because they lack the skills to do better, not because they lack the motivation to do better. Therefore, the answer is to teach them these skills, not to bribe or threaten them.

I’m not sure the above premise is always true. However, I do think that Sudbury schools help students learn appropriate behaviour. This can happen both through acquiring motivation and acquiring skills in an atmosphere of respect and accountability.

Rules at Sudbury schools are proposed, debated and voted upon at the weekly School Meeting (open to all students and staff). The Judicial Committee, in which all students and staff take turns participating, hears complaints about broken rules. This system empowers students who, in a more top-down environment, might tend to rebel against rules they see as arbitrary or unfair. It emphasizes what you can do (ask School Meeting to change, remove or make a new rule; lodge a complaint with the JC; argue forcefully for your own point of view and use your vote to make your voice count) rather than what you must or must not do.

Sudbury schools do require students to arrive with a certain basic level of responsibility for their own behaviour in terms of safety and self-control. However, there are many supports for students who need to gain further skills in being a part of a community. These often involve open, honest, unrushed conversations about the issues. It is very powerful to hear from your peers how your behaviour affects them.Sudbury students are encouraged to take responsibility for themselves, come up with creative solutions to problems, ask for help if needed, know their own strengths and weaknesses and how to work with them, and find their own path within the larger school community.

I have seen that students in a small, close-knit school are usually very supportive of each other and understand that everyone is working on something. I have often heard students telling one another in JC that they like the person but not the behaviour. It is much easier to change and grow when you know your past actions will be forgiven.

It’s that time of year for choosing a Halloween costume. How is it for you as a parent to witness your child’s consideration of who they want to be for Halloween? Are you curious? surprised?

As a Reach parent, you’ll witness your child’s choice of who they want to be, everyday.

Browsing photos from the Beach School (a school like Reach that some of us were involved with), I see many photos of kids in costume, photos taken throughout the year. It might look like they were just playing, but they were also discovering new ways of being. They were adding new textures, even new directions, to their sense of self.

Happy Halloween.

We have copies of  ”Free At Last”, arguably one of the best introductions to Sudbury education.  Contact us if you would like a copy for $9.95 + shipping, or better yet, come out to one of our events and save the shipping cost!